Do you ever forget whether you've had a bath or not? You stop in your tracks and go, Have I?
In the park just now, this big guy with a pit-bull bitch was asking what sort of dog Kenny was. He said he was after a whippet to 'throw over her'. I didn't get it. I never feel comfortable talking to tall people. My head goes at a bad angle. Anyway, he asked if I drink on De Lane and said, I might let you throw him over her.
I didn't get it. Then I got it. Then suddenly I was blushing.
Sometimes you feel like a grown-up, but then suddenly you feel like a boy again. And it's not like the 'Hey! I feel like a boy again!' that you get when you're playing in the sea, or when you're in love and you're walking home after a date has gone really well. It was terrible. I feel like we have been interfered with. The guy's pit-bull was there sniffing Kenny's balls, while Kenny stood there looking at me, going What's going on, Dad? Usually Kenny loves having his penis licked, but this was different.
As I walked off home I had this terrible image of taking him down an alley and forcing him to do it to her in a puddle, while the guy makes me watch with his big red face grinning down over my shoulder. Yerrr... Yerrr...
Seriously though, I think we could make a bit of money pimping Ken out. Let's 'throw him' all over the place.
Can't believe I blushed.
I have had a bath, but I haven't brushed my teeth.
Richie Pen and Kenneth Cock.